Judith Ingalsbe, Stone Benches Journey

Just a Little Case of Dementia

6/22/2016

I recently returned from taking my dad to the doctor. Those of you who have read Stone Benches know this means we stopped by the ice cream shop. Dad has been enjoying a crispy chicken sandwich after his doctor's appointments, without fail, for the past ten years. As Tammy and I systematically helped Dad back into the car, the painful progression of this tragedy really hit me.

His devoted caregiver and I agreed we don't know how many more of these trips to the doctor's office the three of us have left in us, but we successfully conquered today! Despite our best efforts, an amazing doctor, and loving caregivers, the challenges of the past 4,512 days since Dad was diagnosed have taken their toll.

During the appointment, we were systematically reviewing Dad's care and medications when a whistle alerted us Dad was up from his catnap. "I've not experienced a visit in the past ten years without hearing your dad whistle," his doctor stated, bearing an expression of nostalgia. Dad raised his head and sleepily asked, "Where have I been all this time?" He formed a sentence, I proudly thought.

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Wet Salty Tears

6/5/2016

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I've been swimming these treacherous waters for over a decade now - long before many of my dad's caregivers were old enough to drive. I think sometimes people get the impression I pretend to be happy, this habitual smile glued on my face. After all, this is a horrendous disease - unthinkably cruel. Yet, amazingly, I truly have managed to find a current of contentment within the storm.

I view it as making peace with what will never be - my father is inexplicably changed forever. If I am to have a relationship with him, really connect, then I must learn to leave my expectations at the door and enter his world. It's also finding humor amidst the challenges. My father seriously gave away his eyeglasses, which incidentally took me literally weeks to repair? That's hysterical!

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Washington D.C.!

4/4/2016

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Taking our stories to Washington D.C.
#TheyHaveAName #EndAlz #AlzForum

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Command Sergeant Major - Reporting to D.C.

4/2/2016

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Tomorrow, eight of us will be making our journey to Washington D.C. There is one special man I would like you to meet. Of all the stories we will be sharing with our nation's leaders, unfortunately only my publisher’s mother, who was recently diagnosed, and three men on hospice are still living. This distinguished trio of men, my father and two of his buddies, served our country, made a tremendous impact in this world, and are now neighbors at Memory Care.

It is impossible to relay to you what is involved in leaving them to make this trip.

Only because of the monumental dedication of our family members and memory care staff is this even possible. Our community supports our efforts and knows that only by sharing our stories will funding be secured for advancement in research. We are painfully aware this is our only hope in finding a cure for this disease.

A guide will be needed in order to sort our way through this process. Ural would be a perfect candidate, a man whose position as VP of a prominent company took him to D.C. on a regular basis. Previous to this position, Ural served the United States as Command Sergeant Major in the military. His beloved wife and five children sacrificed time with him as he served. His commitment to our country also took him and his family to tours in Alaska, Korea, Vietnam, and Germany.

Unfortunately, we will not have the benefit of his vast knowledge of Washington D.C. Ural lost his hearing due to artillery and is legally deaf. This made it difficult for his children to discern what was happening when they began to notice their father was becoming forgetful. Additionally, he was grieving the passing of his wife, which understandably clouds one’s ability to function normally.

Ural has dementia and is now a neighbor and friend of my dad's.

This family has become dear to me since the day last summer when my father veered from our walking path down the hall into this man’s room and stated “He is my friend!” Two of Ural’s daughters were there and nodded in agreement, letting me know our dads had become acquainted during activities that morning. I have great respect for Ural’s family and their dedication to their father.

It is obvious they are close and they freely admit they like each other! His three daughters are dedicated to taking turns feeding him everyday. They have never lost the respect their father deserves. (Ural is also among the heartbroken parents who has stood at the grave of a child.) Although all three wanted to join us on this trip to Washington, they are sending their sister, Cathy, as the representative for their family.

Ural created a legacy of dedication and trust. He is a highly respected man with admirable qualities. It is apparent, just by experiencing his thoughtful and expressive eyes, this man loves his family. He is a man of faith who believed if the church doors were open, he should be there. We believe if the doors are open to us in Washington D.C., our stories must be told.

#StoneBench #TheyHaveAName #EndAlz #WashingtonDC #CapitolHill #AlzForum
#MemoryCare #Ural #AlzFamilies #InPursuitOfACure

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Join me ​as we learn to walk the treacherous shores of dementia

Judith Ingalsbe

Just a Little Case of Dementia

Wet Salty Tears

Washington D.C.!

Command Sergeant Major - Reporting to D.C.

Join me as we learn to walk the treacherous shores of dementia